The Voice of Reason

By special request of my wonderful roommate, Brittany, (www.beautifullifeofbritt.blogspot.com) I am updating my blog! I really did mean to do this sooner, but with exams and all college hectic-ness, it just gets a bit difficult!
There are a few good things that have happened over the last week or so. First off, exams went great and my GPA is now up higher than it has ever been in college! I'm looking forward to the coming semester and am really crossing my fingers to graduate in December. I am overwhelmed at the blessings and favor that God has shown me through my college career. There are many days where I look back and cannot explain to you how half of the things that have happened to me over the last year or so have happened. All I can say is that God's hand has been through every single thing. He has walked with me, dragged me and carried me- thank You, Lord, for NEVER leaving me. I am not the same person today that I was at the beginning of the semester, just 4 short months ago. The Lord is constantly changing and teaching me. A lot of the time, it's not easy, but my goodness it is worth it!
The second awesome thing that has happened: I went lifting with my cousin two days ago and got calibrated again. Calibers are body fat measuring tools. My body fat percentage went down over two percent! I was jumping up and down with the nurse in her office (the gym I was visiting has a nurse on site at all times). She started jumping up and down with me and laughing. I think I may have been a tad bit excited, but was happy to see the nurse joining in with me on the jumping!

Lately I haven't necessarily "felt" God moving in my life, but I have been thinking more and more about something that He taught me this last year. He basically started moving on my heart and teaching me to not manipulate Him into what I wanted Him to do. A very difficult lesson to be learned. I think sometimes my over-planning and controlling nature ties His hands with what He truly wants to do in my life. I've probably blogged about this before, but it's been a big lesson I've learned and I think a lot of other people need to learn it as well. I love having a plan and sticking to it. God and I have gotten in many wrestling matches over this and He has won every time, either the easy way or the hard way. God will have His way no matter what. I look back and think about the plans I had coming right out of high school. My plan was:
-start my college career off the a 4.0 (that was with math and chemistry in the same semester)
-get into nursing school
-become a nurse practitioner
-find the love of my life in the first year of college
I would like you to know that NONE of those things happened. This is what happened:
-I got on academic probation my first semester in college due to math and chemistry in the same semester
-I ended up giving up on nursing school before I even got there
-I changed my major...twice.
-no love of my life yet, but I"ve stopped looking. He will come when the time is right, but I did find some awesome roommates!

The plans that I had originally were great plans. I always strive for the very best, but sometimes what I think my very best SHOULD be, is not what God's very best is FOR me. I look at how my "plans" actually turned out. Yes, a lot of not so good things happened. I had to spend 5 hours every single day in the library for an entire semester to get myself off academic probation, I changed my major twice and felt like giving up. God was with me through it all. Now He has brought me into a field that I am passionate about. My GPA is high enough to get into grad school and continue my education. He has blessed with my roommates who challenge me and support me. I could not have come up with any other better plan than the one God had for me all along. My prayer today is now that God would continue to change my heart to submit to His will and stop trying to follow my own. It is a daily battle between me and God. I constantly am having to die to myself so that He can live in and through me. Thank You, Lord, for being a God of grace. He understands my heart. He gave me my heart and the desire for greatness, but it can only be "greatness" if it is the greatness that God has picked out just for me!
I read a devotional called "Breaking Free: Day by Day," written by Beth Moore (in my opinion, the best of the best). She wrote:

"To the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, power and authority before all time, now and forever" -Jude 25


"My motivation for Bible study and prayer could be all about me, if I let it:
'Fix my circumstances, Lord.'
'Use my powerfully, Lord.'
'Direct me today'
'Make a way for me'
'Make me successful, Lord'
If my motivation for relating to God is what He can do for me, then a lust for His power may grow, but a yearning for His presence will not. God deeply desires to hear our petitions, but His greatest joy is to hear them flow from the mouths of those who want Him more than anything else He could give."

That short little devotional really spoke to me. "Lord, I just want to be in Your presence and know You better. Forgive me of constantly trying to manipulate You with my plans. Your will, not mine!"

In other happenings:
It's finally Christmas break! Exams were survived and no one in my apartment went crazy! Two of my wonderful roommates came and visited me for a few days! We did a lot of shopping and visited the Billy Graham Library. If you live in the Charlotte area, I recommend going! It's completely free! The house where Billy Graham grew up in is on site and it can be toured. Then there's a HUGE library where his entire book collections are. The tour is, I would say, close to two hours and it is about his life and ministry. I learned a lot of things that I did not know about him. I'll post a few pictures from the outing!