Wednesday, November 10, 2010

When I grow up...oh wait, I don't want too.

Today was just like any other normal day. I woke up, went to class, studied, saw friends and took a test, solved a medical case study and took a quiz. Then I walked into the student store to grab a scantron sheet to take my physiology test when I saw a man advertising class rings. He asked me how long I had been in school and I said only a year, but I'm considered a junior. He handed me a brochure advertising class rings. He said, "it's about that time, soon you'll be needing graduation announcements." My heart skipped a beat.
I remember when my middle and high school years and how I could not wait to grow up, go to college, get a master's degree, get married and have a family. Now, most of that is no longer a dream... it's reality. I'm only 20 but my goodness I did not know that time would start going by faster and faster the older I got. I remember my first day of high school, graduation, first day of college and now I'm over half way done with it. It's a little scary and overwhelming to think about. I've always been one to have a plan and go fifty million miles an hour without stopping until that plan is completed. Now I find myself wanting to pull back and a little bit and slow down. I think this is something that God has been trying to teach me for a LONG time. I now have a desire to enjoy everything that He has given me instead of planning for the next bigger and better thing, because everything that I experience now is just a step in where God has me going. In order to appreciate the things that I want to accomplish one day, I must remember all that is happening now, so I can remember all that happened to get me that stage.

Lord, give me the strength and the will to slow down and hear Your voice. Help me to enjoy the time that I have to myself now, the things that I am learning, the education that I'm receiving, going out with friends on weekends, being able to drop what I'm doing to go to a football game, because if I blink one more time, I'll have so many more responsibilities.

I'm starting to understand what my parents tell me over and over again, "slow down, don't be so hard on yourself, enjoy it." Thank you, Lord, for giving me such amazing parents who believe in me and are proud of me, but want me to enjoy the time that I have here.

It's exciting growing up, but terribly scary. Thank goodness that I serve a God that has gone before me, yet is even here with me now as I take it all in, step by step.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Spiritual Growth Pains...

I am convinced that spiritual growth pains are far more painful than physical growth pains sometimes. I think I'd rather be sore from running miles on end that go through spiritual growth. (ok, I really don't mean that, spiritual growth is good, it's just HARD). I'm sitting here truly feeling the Spirit move in me, but not knowing what He's moving for or towards. I find myself either on my face or driving down the road just begging God to show me what He's doing. Of course I get the answer that I do not want to hear, "it is simply not time for you to know yet, but just trust me." That comment always puts me at peace but also frustrates the mess our of me. Like I've said in previous posts, I am a girl that loves to have a plan. God is very good at changing plans. Especially the plans that I think are all awesome. Of course, He always winds up winning and everything turns out better than I could ever imagine. It's just the waiting period that hurts the most. I am truly thankful that I'm not feeling no growth.
Speaking of growth, my roommates (Lauren and Brittany) and I are beginning a Beth Moore Bible study about Esther. It's entitled "Esther, It's Tough Being a Woman," I am really looking forward of digging deeper into the Word and learning more about God and His incredible love for me. I'm also looking forward to growing closer to my roommates and really looking into what God is doing in their lives too!

Two weeks ago, I went to Knoxville, Tennessee, with my parents, brother and my good friend, Andrew, and we met up with his parents and sister. We went to visit and attend the University of Tennessee vs. University of Alabama game. It was a lot of fun! My family are pretty big Tennessee fans (besides me, I'm a Gator) and Andrew's family are HARD-CORE (and when I say hard-core, I mean it) Alabama fans. It was fun watching each family's reactions to the different plays of the game. We all had a great time. I posted a picture of my brother and I at the game. I love him so much!

The only game that I really care to talk about, though, is ECU vs. NC State. Let me tell you, that game was by far the greatest game I've ever been to (well, at least the ending was). NC State was expected to run all over us and we beat them by a touchdown in overtime! The reaction of the fans in the stadium was crazy! I had a ton of fun! We take on Navy for military appreciation day on Saturday and it should be a good time!

So here's the news that I have been waiting for a long time to say: I passed my fitness test for my major with flying colors! I don't think anyone could've wiped the smile off of my face on that day. I was so nervous about it and was surprised with how well I performed. I was able to go beyond the expected goals of the test. I am very excited to say that I am now a junior in college and am working harder each day to get closer to my dream. I meet with my new advisor to plan my route to graduation! I'm going to try to be graduated by May of 2012, which would be a year and a half ahead of schedule. We'll see how it goes!
As for what's next in my fitness route, I'm not really sure. I've been taking it a little bit easier lately because I had been putting my body under so much stress while training for this test. I plan to get back to hard core training next week. No goals, no deadlines, just back to the gym, which is where I like to be.

When I began this blog, I was a lot different physically, emotionally and spiritually. I started at a size 10 and about 147 pounds. I am now a size 4 and about 137 pounds. I have no desire to be any smaller and I may even try to tone up a bit to a 6 just because I don't know if I want to be a size 4. The most important fact is that I am healthy. As long as my body is healthy, than it is all ok! :) I am happy that I have met my fitness goals! It of course took me a little longer than I would've liked, but I surpassed my goals!